Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The death of an afternoon: Altering Pictures For The Betterment of Nobody In Particular

The death of an afternoon: Altering Pictures For The Betterment of Nobody In Particular

While absolutely murdering an afternoon in cold blood by reading Blog Catalog discussions, a thread came up, introduced by Robin at The Curious Life of a Divorcee. So, in this discussion thread, she gave a link to a site that allows you to submit a picture and then alter a face in the picture to look like it's of a different race, gender, age and more. Here's the link to that activity: http://www.faceofthefuture.org.uk/

This enabled me to murder an afternoon in less of a cold blooded way. It's always intense when an afternoon serial killer such as myself really gets heated up. It was no longer in cold blood. It was in the heat of passion. Okay, not really passion. More like the comforting warmth you get from clothes fresh out of the dryer. It was an afternoon killing done in clothes-dryer-warmth. I'm getting off track here, I think. The point is, I was having fun. After turning several relatives into animations (Another thing they let you do), I started back on my obsession-Star Trek. I know, I know. I've referenced Star Trek a heck of a lot in just a few posts and I'm sorry. I did warn that I was obsessed with Star Trek and private anatomical parts but you just didn't listen, did you? No. No, you didn't. So...Here's what I was doing with this new Internet toy:

~ Here we have the suave, sweet Captain Kirk.

~It's...Captain Kirk as a baby, according to the site. . .

~ The devilishly sexy Vulcan known as Spock. Here's a little known fact: Spock's last name is Weinstein. Spock Weinstein. Yep. Bet ya didn't know THAT now, did ya?

~ And, this is Spock as half ape, according to the site. Look at him. He looks like he's just about to club you over the head and drag you by the hair back to the cave. Still kind of sexy.

Okay, now I know the Trek isn't what everybody's into. I know some people like House. I do, too. Which is why I made him into a baby and a half ape also.

~ The charmingly misanthropic House as he normally is.

~Doctor Apeman. You've got to admit, this one is almost disturbing. Not sexy. Too accurately apelike. If you found this sexy, you'd be known as ''a zoophile''. If you are one of those...please, leave this blog. Your kind are not welcomed here. I try to be enlightened but, I'm sorry. That's where I draw the line. Zoophilia. If you were a bibliophile, you'd be welcomed any time, provided you don't go spouting off about it like an A-hole. But, not zoophiles.

~ And, this is House Baby. How creepy would it be to get a rectal exam from this one, right? Plus, may I add...de-aging the faces of men with beards or heavy stubble...it just looks creepy. It just does. Babies shouldn't have beards and stubble. That's just a natural fact.

Okay, so thanks to Robin and there went that afternoon. : )

Sunday, October 26, 2008

True Blood: But, Bill had dirt on his penis!

Look at him. You can just tell he's acting coy about the dirty dorkus. (Stephen Moyer)

True Blood: But, Bill had dirt on his penis!
Okay, that was a weird title but I'm just beside myself. I've got my arm around my own shoulder, that's how beside myself I am. If you watch HBO's True Blood, you're no doubt stuck on the Sookie and Bill romance. Well, during a love scene of epically Halloweenish proportions, Bill sprang up from the ground nude and immediately had sex with Sookie. He was dirt-covered. Head to toe. The last time I checked, the penis was between the head and the toe so if anything is head to toe, it gets to the penis too. Anyway, the fact of the matter is that this implies that a dirt-covered penis was involved in onscreen intercourse. I've never seen it before and it gave me the creeps. All I can think of is 'What if I were Sookie and this beautiful vamp wanted to spring out of the ground and do bad things to me?'. I'd be freaked out about the dirt, damn it! Clean that thing off, man! I'm a lowly mortal, human. I could get some horrible infection from soil-based organisms of a malicious ilk. Not happening. Not even for Bill. No.